No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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