I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
