there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
