I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
...so i touched it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
