is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
