You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
