No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
