I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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