You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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