If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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