I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
