I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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