from now on my penis is your penis
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
