Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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