you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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