Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
