My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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