so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
