guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
