The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We are all done wearing pants today
I love you. Go after that dick
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
