Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
