i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
worst night to have a conscience
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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