just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
