I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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