just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
