no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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