So drunk its hurt
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
