I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
