We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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