well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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