Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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