Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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