It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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