he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
