no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
