Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
