If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
