I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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