If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
