how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I DEMAND FORESKIN
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
