Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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