let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
smell my finger.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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