Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
