its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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