Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
