Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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