Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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