why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
