just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize