Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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