Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
