hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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