Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I faked an abortion last night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
