Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
