Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
