How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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