OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize