If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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