Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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