my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
