toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
