u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
