Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
