Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
