it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
